Sizzle The Bacon (STB) Kitchen 1: An Aloof Loft

This is the first of many posts in a series called, “STB Kitchen.” The name is straightforward and each kitchen is chosen on the criteria of whether or not I’d want to cook some bacon in it. Below are my thoughts, with my only interior decorating experience being a short summer stint working at the Pottery Barn. Qualifications are overrated, all you need is Pottery Barn and a blog post. 


“If my kid couldn’t draw I’d make sure that my kitchen magnets didn’t work.” -Mitch Hedberg

I’m a firm believer in feng shui. Everything has its place and affect on Qi (ch’i). Qi is the positive and negative life force which is effected by all things everywhere. This includes kitchens. Like the proverbial phrase goes, “If your kitchen doesn’t have good feng shui, get out of the way.” A kitchen with good feng shui has a proper balance between arrangement, color, and utility.

Why so much sizzled bacon could be cooked here: I love nooks. I love bunk beds. I love lofts! Call me a middle-aged housewife of two, but when it comes to creative uses to expand both the spatial utility and visual presence of a room, I’m all-in. I’ll clean it, vacuum it, and Swiffer it everyday for the rest of my life as long as I can have some spatial utility and visual presence. Those are the key to any middle-aged housewife’s heart.

And like a Twix bar, this kitchen has a double bonus. The loft not only serves to create balance with the high ceilings, but is also the support for the light fixtures that spotlight the modern kitchen below. I’m a huge fan of direct, straight-down lighting.[1]

All this, plus granite (or marble?) counter tops with the tan wood finished cabinets and I’ve just about lost my bacon.

The sink within the island counter provides more counter-space and that is a huge win. If it came down to having more counter-space or having a lifetime supply of Skittles, I’d choose more counter-space.[2]

Two other little, but solid elements:

  1. Far left – a little side window (so good and such good placement) and see-through wine cooler.
  2. Matching dining table top on the right is a win and looks real sturdy.

Why I’d never sizzle my bacon here: This kitchen has an all-natural feeling and the last thing it needs is this bold frame surrounding the loft. The loft itself will be the focal point of the room, but the black frame is just too much contrast, even with the matching refrigerator and stove. A good not great effort.

This kitchen was made for entertainment and hosting friends and family. The frame cheapens the look and makes it appear as if the loft is still under construction.

Imagine the reputation you’d have among your friends, “Oh yeah, Mike is a nice guy, but his kitchen has the cheapest looking loft I’ve ever seen.” Could you function with that hanging over your head?

Two other little, but not-solid elements:

  1. Bottom left – good thing this looks to be a show kitchen, because the chair and livingroom have no flow with the kitchen at all and looks straight out of the 1970s. This is a modern kitchen and that sort of fung shui-fallacy cannot go unchecked.
  2. The 2 micro-support beams on the right underside of island counter. I don’t get them.

Bottom line: All in all, this is a solid above-average kitchen in which I’d love to cook some bacon in. The loft is a unique element and provides focus within the open room. Photo credit and more pictures at: Furniture Gold. Design by schuchart/dow.

[1] I bet this is how Emeril got famous. One upon a time Emeril was a regular guy, cooking in a kitchen that had a loft and direct-lighting. The atmosphere made him feel like he was on stage and that he needed to put on a show. Then he just started yelling, “Bam!” every time he’d seasoned food and the rest is history. A feng shui #FTW moment.

[2] Don’t hate the player hate the game.


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